Dance!
About a decade ago I attended the wedding of a childhood friend in Nashville, Tennessee. My mom, perennially a supporter of all our close friends, was also invited.
I remember us strolling down Main Street, lined with its dizzying and eclectic array of honky tonk bars and restaurants, in search of a good old southern barbeque lunch and finding an eatery that looked just right. We ordered, and as we waited for our food, chatted and listened to the infectiously foot-tapping country tunes that the house band was providing.
Mom could not help it and after rocking in her seat for a few moments suddenly got up and walked to the empty dance space and, and to the delight of the musicians, by herself, started to dance. Seriously dance. Unabashedly dance. Happily dance.
The other guests were snickering and quizzical, then entertained, then finally cheering in respect of this anonymous, shiny ebony woman baring her soul so physically and honestly. We were in turn affectionately embarrassed, then proudly possessive and embracive, and once again inspired, both by the simplicity of the moment and the power of her example. Of course, we know our mom and that she spontaneously she dances her life, for good measure and with impact. From caring for younger siblings upon the death of their own mother when they were all still young, to being god-mother to thousands of students at the university where she worked for two decades as an executive assistant, to putting her own kids through Ivy League schools and on to very successful careers of their own, to working hard with her church community to rebuild and fund a successful school in Sierra Leone, her life has been nothing short of remarkable. And she keeps on going.
Why do I tell this story?
Because it is not the usual ode to the power of purse, or inheritance, or ego, or corner office hubris, or personality politics, or commercial talent, or entitlement, or self-anointed brilliance (and so forth and so on), to which and for which too many toil as a proxy and path to their life’s success, but an underscoring of something more uncomplicated and positive and human and accessible to all of us - clarity of vision, steadfastness of purpose, a stubborn belief in one’s own ability to overcome, and personal integrity - as more wholesome life paths.
Nowadays, as I mentor and counsel, I often surprise people with the question “Do you dance?”, and often get the response of a perplexed furrowed eye brow or answers like “No” or “Sometimes”. Even when everyone seems to like music, I hear too much “I don’t like dancing because I think I am bad at it” or “I look funny when I dance”.
Who cares?!
Whether it is on a dance floor or on a mental center stage, turn on the soundtrack to your vision and go for your goals with all that you have. Forget the onlookers, naysayers, snippy colleagues or bad managers who have no ownership of your potential, accountability for your success or vested interest in you. Focus on the things and people that matter and do your thing – eking out wins one by one, with your own rules and on your own terms - and from time to time, stop and dance your victory laps. Don’t care if anyone thinks you sing funny, look funny or move funny. They’ll go home to theirs and you to yours.
So, get up and find your north star and the song that will get you there. Then, dance to it. I know for sure, from my mom’s experience and example and success in dancing, whether they realize it or not, that the joke’s certainly not on you.
#RealWinTips
Photo by Isabella Mendes from Pexels